He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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