direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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