I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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