Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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