So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
