as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
