does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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