I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
