i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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