the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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