fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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