I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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