I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize