i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
