you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
