True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
