Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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