I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
