Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
