Can i not drive my cunt home
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
