Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
