My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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