i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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