i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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