just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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