As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
