I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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