Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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