Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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