dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
