Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
