Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
