Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
