Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
