God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
