I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
