Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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