Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need to calm my uterus...
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