i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Welp...herpes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
