Little spoons don't ask big questions
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize