Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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