can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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