Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
