In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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