ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You took a bar mat shot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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