brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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