Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.

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(970): View more from Colorado

There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop

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(518): View more from New York

I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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(228): View more from Mississippi

We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver

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(720): View more from Colorado

He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger

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(714): View more from California

can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?

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