Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize