Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness