I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken