just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
