Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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