Whoa Z and x make the same sound
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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