I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
