All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
