: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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