Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
