Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
