do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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