Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
