hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
