Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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