OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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