just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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