6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
