he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
