you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
