I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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