oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I queefed so loud it echoed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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