I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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