I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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