Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
smell my finger.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Im part way to drunk.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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