Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
